Hi friend, happy Chinese/Lunar New year to those of you who celebrate, and happy Valentine's/Galentine's to those of you who don't! If you're wondering what this is and why this is in your inbox, I’m Pea and this is my letter to you, from +81.
i miss everybody From my conversations with friends who live outside of Tokyo, and from how it has been portrayed on TV, Tokyo is often described as a place where the people are "cold". I never really understood it, and assumed that most people are just not as used to living in big cities as I was. In fact, I felt more isolated living as a foreigner in a small city like Toyohashi than my time in Osaka or Tokyo. Everyone is a transplant in Tokyo; it is diverse, and new, and exciting. I did not think that people were "cold", and even when I felt lonely, I did not feel that it was unique to my experiences in Tokyo. Until recently, when I moved out of Tokyo.
Out of nowhere, in our hiking trips within Kanagawa, people moved to offer seats to both Wesley and I on the buses and trains. The owner at the nearby casual grill diner offered their amazing secret chilli oil the first time we visited and now serves it to us every time we visit. My new wax therapist tells me about how she has moved around the area and recommends restaurants that I can visit here. How are people so nice here?
I read an article last week that says that we are missing out on the social relationships that are peripheral to our lives because of the pandemic. These are the weak ties that we have - the co-workers you bump into but never talk to, the people at the gym that you see once in a while, the regulars at the neighbourhood bar. I related to the article deeply and felt it to the core when I watched a scene from a TV show of people having fun in a gay club. Good memories of the days when I had fun with my bestest of friends in Kabuki-cho or Dojima clubs, along with other people there for a good time! I have not been clubbing in the last few years because I am unfortunately getting old, but now that it is no longer a choice, I want to do it again.
Sort of related, and maybe it's just the pandemic getting to me, but I have really enjoyed my meaningless conversations with the store assistants when I get to see them. And I used to hate small talk. Those weak ties, man.
The lack of social interactions is the least of all the problems the world is currently facing, and I am never not grateful for what I have now. But I miss everyone, and everything, and I hope that the world will be a better place for everybody soon. In the meantime, huat huat huat!
meanwhile in +81... what's happening in Japan
so apparently cocoa sucks? I have always had suspicions about effectiveness of the COVID tracker app, known as COCOA, developed by the Japanese government. I downloaded it anyway. It is always better to know if I had exposure to COVID, right? I had my doubts again when I received zero notifications after months of being in Tokyo, and also when my friend's boyfriend, and then my friend, was confirmed to be infected with the virus. So when news came out early this month that the COVID-19 tracker app had bugs and failed to push notifications to 30% of users since September, I was not surprised. However, the fact that it has been failing since September, and we still do not know if the problem will be fixed, is honestly horrific for an app which requires cooperation from almost 100% of the population to be effective. Ugh, in Singapore, where we have problems with the use of the data, at least the app works.
I laughed out loud when I saw the New York Times report about the Mori debacle. Honestly, I felt both a sense of defeat and relief.
On one hand, it is a good thing that a reputable American source - the New York Times - and not a local news source reported on it. Since the Japanese society is all about face, it placed a lot more pressure for punitive actions.
On the other hand, I have been here for 8 years. I am realistic about the fact that it is hard to defeat the system, no matter how forward thinking the government, the companies or the society claim to be. As a woman, you are expected to be responsible for serving drinks to guests before meetings. As a woman, you will be told by the CEO that you can rise to be director eventually (how forward thinking!), while the new male intern is told that he can aim to be CEO of the company in the future. As a woman, you can be the boss of your team, and you will be treated as if you were the secretary, or worse, that you were invisible at meetings. (These examples are all based on personal experiences.) I have opted out of the system by joining an American company instead, but women in Japan are still working within it.
Which is why I also laughed when it came out that Mori appointed an equally old, apparently anti-Semitic(?) man. The men in power talk about empowering women in Japan, but they will always be happier to invite other men for drinks after work. The women will always be relegated to doing extra administration and social work (not forgetting domestic work at home!), which means that regardless of performance or skills, women will always lose out on opportunities to get closer to leadership. I can go on and on, but if after 20 years, nothing has changed to help the government achieve the goal of having women in 30% of all management roles, then I am convinced nothing will change. "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results."
BTW, if you have time, look up the entire timeline of this entire incident. Highlights include another old man in the government basically saying that he could give no f-s about the masses of volunteers quitting from this debacle, because they can always just get more. LOL.
when in yokohama... recent happenings in my life
Yesterday, on February 13, at 11:08 PM, a 7.1 magnitude earthquake hit Fukushima. Wes and I were in the bedroom, getting ready for bed when I heard the alarms go off from our phones in the living room. Then it started to shake. Earthquakes are sort of regular occurrences, and our phones were in the living room so we were not aware of how strong the quake would be. Fukushima is about 300 km away from where we live (about the distance between Kuala Lumpur to Singapore), so we experienced only about a magnitude 4 earthquake, but you could really hear the building, and our furniture moving. It shook for at least one full minute before I felt like it was safe enough to check on the cats, who were shocked and perched on the cat tree but otherwise okay. It was scary, and I could still hear the building creak as it moves to straighten out minutes after the original quake. The adrenaline and anxiety meant that both of us had pretty bad sleep last night, but having experienced a much, more violent earthquake in Osaka in 2018 (love you Brian!), I am just glad that we are all safe. For now. We still have to watch out for aftershocks.
It is my first time living in a 50-storey building during an earthquake, so I was impressed to learn about the mechanics of how buildings withstand the shakes. The building apparently absorbs the force of strong earthquakes and lets it out in smaller, softer but longer shakes, which explains why I could still hear the building creak minutes after the original earthquake stopped. I do not understand the specific mechanics because I am not an engineer, but it is still impressive what we have accomplished.
The earthquake has also alerted us about how unprepared Wesley and I were for any types of emergency. We needed more water, we needed to understand where our nearest evacuation center is, we needed an emergency plan. I have been blessed to be born a Singaporean, where the only disaster training that we have are fire drills. I used to be clueless about what to do during earthquakes. Now that I know, I get so much anxiety when I see some of the things that Singaporean tourists do during earthquakes, typhoons or volcanic eruptions. If you have not already, please educate yourself before coming to Japan. Do not get out of your room during an earthquake. Stay indoors during a typhoon. Check where your nearest evacuation centers are, always. It never hurts to be informed!
I have always adored Don Quixote but did you know that Mega Don Quixote had an amazing selection of foreign exotic food that I could not find anywhere else? Salted eggs, papadums, fried pork skin, kinder bueno, feijoada (!!!!) - something that I have been looking for years after my first friend in Japan, a Brazilian, treated me to some during lunches at work - I could never find them anywhere else! They also had Indomie and Shin Ramyeon for real cheap. Since they have the best variety of Japanese souvenirs, food, snacks and beauty products, I make regular visits to Donki especially when friends visit from outside Japan. I did not realize that they were good for foreign food in Japan too. Best discovery yet this year! Wes and I "stumbled" upon the Mega Donki during a run/walk in the park, and we spent $100 on snacks and food that day.
creator of the fortnight what i've been obsessed with
There are only two Japanese YouTubers that I watch on a fairly regular basis. Kemio - for when you want over-the-top, ridiculous yet entertaining videos - and Seiyarogai Ojisan. His channel is mostly videos of him shouting at the camera while frolicking around the beaches in Okinawa. Not your typical YouTuber, but he is out to educate. I first discovered him when he spoke up during BLM about discrimination. He presented an eloquent yet easily digestible video explaining what discrimination is, and what we can do to be anti-discrimination. Recently, in the midst of the Mori debacle, he published a video explaining how he thinks Mori should act under the circumstances. It was an entertaining, and educational video, but one example really stood out to me.
Discrimination is like having your nose hair stick out from your nose, he says in the video. If someone tells you that your nose hair is sticking out, do you thank them and remove the hair? Or do you get angry and accuse them of being sensitive? In the video, he also emphasizes that it is never about the intentions - nobody intends to be sexist or racist! -, it is about the impact of your actions. The video resonated with me, and made me think and reflect on my actions to make sure that I am always learning, and open to learning to be a better person. The videos are in Japanese, but if you understand Japanese I definitely recommend watching his videos.
Phew, this was long. Thanks for reading and caring! I hope you have a good week ahead, and I'll catch you again in a few.
With love,
Pea
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